没有 比我 爱你

原来依赖了 伤痛重复了

以为可以回到过去 

其实只是一厢情愿

你需要 我都在 

我需要 你推开 

这一夜 眼泪 与我相伴 

对不起 我真的 很想你 

爱 依然 不变 

for the E.

so, it's been for a month

to be honest, i was being so emotional lately

but thanks for those who concerned me

i felt very warm to received all of the messages

yeah, i always got you guys beside me

i wouldn't be alone

thanks god for having all of you in my life

my friends said i looks super tired everyday

yeah, i really get not enough of sleep

you've got no idea how tired i am

fall asleep anytime while lying on bed

and awake mid of night for no reason

happened everyday

i cant sleep well, so terrible

always a reason to blog

i wanted to blog for my ex, even though he will never read this

or maybe i shouldn't talk about it to effect anything

but still.. ..

thousand of reasons for my decision

i dont like to explain or to get agreement for my decisions

i always know what myself doing

at the same time, i often regretted for what i decided

i take the risk to bet with it

but at the end, always not the things what i expected

get used to it

i always confused myself

when i still trying hard to move on, to let go, to stop myself for all this shit

great that you did it better than me

i was like 'omg, why could be this fast?'

then i finally realize, i am just nothing, nothing for all the time

i shouldn't expect he will be the same like me

missing the old time like i always do

the life still going on, don't stop for anyone

for truth, i am still happy for you

sincerely wishing you success in the future

stay sweet and happy with her

get what you wants, never too late to chases for the dream

i know you can do it, always have faith in yourself

good luck and all the best

*loves*

okay, the next bf shouldn't name from E again

double E has enough bother me for lifetime

lol

thanks for appearing in my life

memories, happiness and love, always in my heart

good night.

30.03.2015

so, i make myself staying at home for whole day

monday is always family day

but today is i myself day

lol

not going out for dinner with parents

had only one meal in today

so far am not really hungry at all

chance to eating less, keep fit

stuck in the room for almost half day

watched some movies

listened to some songs

that's how simple my life could be

yeah, i am not Christian

i know what you guys curious about

why do i listening to the church songs lately

i was just tying to understand how amazing it could be

to believe in God

to get close to the life, with someone

to love the songs, get the meaning of the lyrics

life could be more beautiful, isn't?

**one of my favorite song**

Don't you give up now

The sun will soon be shining

You gotta face the clouds

To find the silver lining

-That's what faith can do-

good night.

28.03.2015

hi, finally i am back, to here

i am single

yeah, officially

he deserve better, we both deserve better

dont worry, not consider a bad ending

at least, still friend, without contacted

lol

how's life?

kinda bored actually

i've got nothing to do everyday

i means something meaningful

not about outing or working

where is the goals of life?

felt so empty with the life now

unfortunately, my life is always in a mess

relationship, friendship

alone, that's what make me grow stronger

i can only hide my feelings to myself

just because i know, no one, no one could understand

i am weird, i am complicated

sometimes, i just need someone who will just come and hug me in a sudden

to make me feel warm and touch

i need rest, no more acting.

02.03.2015 Monday

I am sorry

But i really dont wanna say Goodbye.

ILY

07.02.2015 Saturday

hard time to me

nothing more i wanted to say

just, thanks for the few hours in the night

you always had the power to make me felt better

thank you

but always get bluffed, endless "talk to you later"

end up forgetting me

just fine, friends, i understand,

i am good actually

just a little lonely some time

some tears maybe

but at least not too worse

i can still handle it

dont know what to do at home

had no mood to watch tv, online

what i do? lying on bed, non stop refreshing my phone

to see what's new on the socials

no texts, no calls

my friends? they just ignored me

okay, they dont think i need to be consoled

fine too, i have to bear it myself

**Dont expect what you expected, I believe God will always have better plan for me**

The Prettiest Twin ♥

JAYESSLEE ASIA TOUR 2015 – KUALA LUMPUR

24.01.2015 Saturday, Harvest City, Subang Jaya

great that i went for the concert

yeah, i went alone

sound crazy? everyone get shocked, even my family

they were like:"what?! you going alone? are you kidding?! you must be crazy!"

i finally did something that everyone unexpected

but i kinda proud of myself

i am not afraid to be alone, at least i keep trying, to be stronger

sorry that i am so lazy to upload the videos in my phone

so i just found on youtube, haha

you guys may search for more videos on youtube too

there was the best part in the concert

when i closed my eyes

i was like.. hmmm.. i love the feelings

so warm, so touching, so much of love

i replaying the song everyday, i really love this song

doesn't means that Casting Crowns not singing well

but just i like Jayesslee cover more

if you get to hear the song in LIVE

you will know what i meant

lol

i wanted to get the song use as my blog song

but only found live, couldn't find officially studio cover

too bad :(

BABIES

they are really really CUTE

i love them too

so this is the Happy Families

husbands and babies

if i could have a family like this in the future

so lovely

you'll never regret for the show

wonderful and amazing

ohh yeahh, i meet some new friends too

although a little awkward

but is really good to meet some new friends

i've got not much friends as you guys know

hahahahaha

and i guess most of the attendants are Christian

they share some story about Jesus with me

i get to know more, although i am not Christian

but a new try, new experience to me

2015, must be a good starting, good year to me

I LOVE YOU, JAYESSLEE

thanks for the super awesome night

looking forward to the next show

please come back in a short time, we miss you

take care, loves.

♥

22.01.2015

Happy Birthday. 

15.01.2015

there are BabyJay's New Album for my blog

Auto Shuffle Play

i love my blog much more now

lol

2014 just ended, and now going to be cny soon

about 35 days

time flies so quietly

people now starting to be busy with the coming cny

buying stuffs, 

like new clothes, shoes or some new furniture too

so am i, this is the best excuse to buy NEW CLOTHES

mom won't nagging like a bee

just because you got to get everything in new on cny

that's why i love cny

crazy shopping mood is ON, from now

**evil smile**

another year 2015, should have some new hope new target

earn more money?

yeah, everyone wants to earn more everyday

not only years

be more accurate, mature in new life

this is what i wants

i'm actually not come by to talk about new year

but just fine, emotions just slipped away

i should better blog another day

see you guys soon

-blessing for year-

重新（心）开始

这一篇 我想要写给 在我身边的 你

我知道 遇上你 我真的很幸运

也很幸福

因为我终于遇上 一个 爱我比我爱他更多的人

我想说 对不起

我选择对你残忍狠心 不留手 伤害你

可能我会后悔失去一个爱我的人

只是对你隐藏 我一直觉得对你 不公平

所以我一直想要对你坦白

只是一直找不到对的时间

谢谢你的爱 大到可以包容我 忘不掉的那个人

我想要全心全意 在你身边

但是老天总让我找不到坚持留下的理由

我一直找不到方向 我们该怎么走下去

我不爱他 也不爱你

就像你说 我习惯有他的存在

即使他心里不再有我

我仍然想要去关心

不是恋人 不是朋友 我们只剩像亲人的关心

我们彼此喜欢

我却给不了你完整的心

我除了 对不起 还是 对不起

你说 两个人在一起

就是打打闹闹一直 走到最后

你也终于承认 我们想法终究真的不一样

想法不一致的恋人 该怎么达成共识 继续走在一起

这是我一直在斟酌的问题

永远没有答案的问题

我是故意选在特别的这一天 向你坦白

我真的以为 我的狠心 可以逼着你离开

你的爱 你的喜欢 真的远远 超乎我的想象

那一刻 我真的很感动

上天终于带给我一个 诚心爱我的人

也谢谢你的坚持不放弃

让我再有想要坚持的理由

2年多 是时候 结束不公平的一切

希望 这条路 不会再崎岖

花开花谢 只要不死掉

凋零以后 还是会结果

我们 应该 也不难 对吧？

这个属于我的地方

记录的都是过去两个人的回忆

多么煎熬的想念 今天以后 都该结束了

2年后的今天 我希望不是太迟的开始

SHH，谢谢你的爱

改变了所有

我希望 会有这么一天 告诉你说

我爱你

05.01.2015

杨惠婷 记得今天自己许下的承诺

重新 出发吧