31.12.2013 the last, the end.

恋爱的纪念物, 从来就不是那些，你送给我的礼物 甚至也不是那些甜蜜的短信和合照 。 

恋爱最珍贵的纪念物, 是你留在我身上的, 如同河川留给地形的, 那些你对我造成的改变 。

2014来临以前

我想说的 我想做的

都应该到此为止了

我爱的 你

不管未来的路怎么走

身边会不会有我

我都希望 在世界的每一个角落

你都会一直幸福着

我爱你.

imy. 

27.12.2013

forced myself to start my diet plan

seem like not really works on me

i always get hungry

and eat alot

how i gonna slim down before cny?

damn

i just wish i could stop eating too much rubbish foods

planning to have some sport once in a week

badminton would be my first choice

anyone wanna join?

lol

although i know once in a week not really enough

just wish to have more time to do more things

please don't be lazy RACHEL

hold it on and you could do it

no more lazy, no give up this time

you wanna be prettier

this is what you must do

pray for myself

***fingercrossing***

the last friday in 2013

wish everyone have a good and unforgotten friday.

christmas?

i've been staying home alone, had maggie for 3 days

this is how i passed my christmas

bored.

when bff and bf not in town

i felt myself a very little lonely

no where to go

nothing to do :(

nothing speacial

i was really too bored 

to came and blog about this

lol

anyway, wish all of you a merry christmas

have fun and enjoy the day with friends and the love one

23.12.2013

i guess i've been thinking too much

i had a dream

not a sweet dream

and also, not a nightmare

just too true 

that's what i always thinking when it really happens in my life

my choice, hurt the one i most not willing to 

keep the situation like now

then i wont be hurting anyone

let it go, could be better

looking back all the old pictures, status or video on fb

i seriously miss high school life

too much joy and memories

i wish to go back when i was still that young

i feel like calling somebody right this moment

but i just, i just can't

hold it on Rachel

you could do it

nights.

14.12.2013

17 days more to end 2013

i always start with a day counting

when would it end, when would it start 

day by day, i am really wasting the days in my life

going to be in 22, what had i done for the past of my life?

something meaningful? 

look back to your past

what have you got?

are you fulfilling your dreams? 

step by step, getting near to your perfect future?

am still have nothing in my life

no dreams, no goals, no motivations

there are always the same thing that i am blogging about

get a little too bored in myself

what to do? what to change?

just too lazy

loving the song of my blog

i heard it from facebook actually

i love the lyrics, it touched me

just found out the piano chords

seem like not too difficult

so i am gonna learn it since nobody is going to sing for me

lol

anyway, i am still being good here

although there are really something i could not tell but bother me the most

keep it simple

i would find out the answer someday

*blessing*

.

又一个不知不觉 

2013也快过完了 

昨天的同学聚会 好令人怀念 

很愉快的一个晚上 

我曾经以为我们的步伐不会有太大的转变 

但是时间磨练了你 却忘了我可能还在原地踏步 

听着你诉说着未来的一切 

我顿时觉得 我们的距离或许又大一步的远离了 

那一切一切不再是我向往的未来 

你可以说我长不大 也可以说我幼稚没大志 

我的目标，还是只有一个 

简单幸福温馨的家 

而不是以钱为前提 

妈咪常说 钱够用就好 不奢侈不浪费 

有钱的 结局终不会好 

看戏也是这么做 

恭喜你终于找到了自己的目标 

真心地 希望你过得很好 

祝福你 

24.11.2013

一句话 伤透了心 

却没让我狠狠地记住教训

掩饰不了正真的那一份感觉

却也不想要多加解释

还在努力 学会放弃 

23.11.2013

The way he think of me

Seriously hurt, the most. 

He make all this end. 

My Jay ♥

you've no ideas how amazing he was

always surprising people

how can he be so amazing and perfect?

really killed me

he is really the man that i can't stop loving

the only one that i willing to love for my rest of life

save money from now on

i wanted to go everywhere to see his concert

please wait for me

i will meet you in taiwan soon

♥ LOVE YOU BABY JAY ♥

the sky is crying, my heart is bleeding.

29.08.13

Almost end of August 

My boy leave to taiwan soon

And my dear potato

I was wishing that september never come

So that they will still staying around me

I can see them whenever i wants

Been a month that i am not staying at home

It's really hard to stay without family, to stay alone out there

I do miss home

I will be home very very soon

My lovely bed, i miss you

I wondering that would you miss anything of your past? 

A thing? Or maybe a person? 

Looking at the picture, the old you, what do you think about?

I watched the birthday video that i made for someone last night

I remembered all those little things

Make me happy, smile, touch, sad, angry, mad

All of the first time, on a person, unforgetable

People says, never fall in love with a person in the ages of 16 or 17

That would be forever. 

Truth.

22.08.13

Dreamed of someone last night

I was wishing that was true in life

Too bad that it's just a dream

I wondering why..

I starting miss the someone

No, maybe i was just missing the memories that we had

People had changed, what are you wishing or waiting for?

Somehow, i realized, started a new relationship, doesnt means that you had really let go of the past.

29.07.13

不知不觉 毕业3年了

超令人怀念 充满回忆的地方

这一趟回去 感觉真的很特别

我真的很庆幸自己毕业于循人

在这里学习长大

是我成长的地方

谢谢循人

我爱循人

*走到哪里 都是你的影子.

27.07.13

hey guys

it's been a long time

20 days

went for a trip to penang last week 

i never NEVER think of the past will exactly happen again

same places, ever the hotel, just the people doesn't same

yeah, i do felt unbelievable

you will never get back to the time

i know, is really time to move on

no, i'm moving, make it right, i should leave it behind

by the time now, focus on what i should have to

i've got a boyfriend that caring me enough

although always get into fight

but he'll never give up

this is what he trying to prove

love me no matter what, and not giving up easier

i should be thankful

my life isn't only love

but a true cancer, love is everything

anyway, big day for my high school tomorrow

congratulation Tsun Jin

see you guys tomorrow

enjoy and have a great day people

07.07.13

i am officially 21 now

happy belated birthday to me, myself

after years, this is the first birthday without someone

guess i have to used for it, in the future of years

thanks for everyone who came for the birthday party

i really had a great night with all of you

awesome 21 for me

thanks for being around with me whenever i needs

friendships forever

ilygs

too much things in my mind

i wanted to blog it all

but... maybe i should just forget about it

sometimes things better keep it by self, hiding somewhere

you know what, i do miss it.

God Bless.

25.06.13

还有8天 就真正迈进了人生另一个阶段

小时候 常常很想长大变21岁 拿金钥匙 当个大人

真的要到的时候 才发现好想回到小时候

其实大人 并没那么好当

还是小孩儿的天真无邪我比较向往

总会有人跟你说 年轻就要去疯狂

你有本钱 何必忧愁生活点滴?

对 无限的青春我可以消耗

只是放不开 我还在浪费

坚持无谓的无谓

坚守所谓的原则

明明很想抛开 勇气却离我远远

过去 只能怀念

转身回头 也已经没有路可走

走一步算一步 大概也只能这样了

欠下一句对不起

也欠下一个答案

人生没有多少个10年可以等待

虽然我很想 很希望 很期盼

相信我 不是现在 或许未来

如果你懂我

其实一直都没变

*如果可以...

25.05.13

It's been a long time

I am back to here

The world of myself

As you know, when i appeared at here, bad thing happened

Lol

As usual, to release my feelings

People always asking me that why i always doesnt like to share a thing or my feeling

I am sorry, the only way that i could tell, was only blogging with words not by my mouth

I doesnt like to tell ppl about the things of myself by my own mouth

Some ppl think i am really weird enough

Yeah, i am really weird

Forgive me

I couldnt change to be a normal human

Maybe, i really found too much excuses for myself

To prove everyone that i am right

But seriously, what am i trying to prove?

Prove that i really had the best plans for my future?

Prove that i am really not the kind of childish as ppl think of?

Everyone asking me, telling me that to accept the facts, the reality

But why? Why cant i keep the childish thinking just to stay simple of my life?

Yet, ppl around saying me silly

Nowadays, i always pray to god

For giving me the good of life

Bring me out to this suffer

I've got to my limit, i cant longer bear with anymore

Head was like burning everyday

Too much things disturbing me

Until i cant make any decision or to have a positive thinking

Seriously, killing me

I was getting far and far to my dream

Maybe i should just keep it in heart, or forget it forever

Time to face the reality

21 ady, be mature and really time to gross up

Not longer a small girl

Rely on no one but myself 

At the end, i always always couldnt be the girl ppl expecting me to be

I always know, Just an useless silly girl. 

God bless.

02.05.13

转眼的快

原来已经5月了

累人的生活

真让人透不过气

我才真的体会上中学的那种好

好怀念的想当年

20这个年纪 是应该拥有抱负的享受生活

步入社会大学这一圈

想说 人生才真的要开始

却被迫向世界挥手说再见

应该还有很多未完成的梦吧?

和病魔战斗了这么久

辛苦了 算是解脱 是时候让自己休息了

对不起 都没抽出时间去看你

也谢谢你 让我懂得更珍惜身边的每一个人

希望下辈子你会活得更健康幸福

在天堂的你 祝福你

*lovelife.

collapsing?

thought to have some changes for the blog

end up, was like changed nothing

i don't really know what to change

just loving the way how it be

cried for quite long today

super head ache now

eyes super dry

should go to bed after blogging

some secret of myself, i shouldn't be telling him about that

but, i was totally losing control today

cry like shit, until i don't really know what's really happened

all that i know, i am really stress about the life now

really dying, really killing me

until i can't breath 

the only way i could release myself

only blog, and non stop crying

i don't know who can i talk to

just because i know, nobody likes to hear about people crying to complains about their life

how sucks, how shit about it

honestly, no one cares

so that i do rather to hide, to act like nothing

but when i am alone

terrible shit

not to be a burden, i promised

but seem like i am still, a burden

independent girl? i always thought i am

big wrong of myself

i do really miss the time when i was just staying home and doing nothing everyday

no pleasure, a happy girl, was really the best moment to me

and now, i wonder how happy i can smile for, how loudly i can laughs for

God, if you hear my pray

please tell me what to do

i don't wanna stay in this suffer anymore

*bless me.

wish me to have a nice sleep

nights world

nights people

sleep tight and sweet dream.

23.04.13

当你以为事实被告知以后

会得到体谅和明白

但原来 不是每个人都会用心 去谅解你

反正我也习惯了 

也不是每个人都能真的明白

习惯就好

about love

Hey, I am back :)

just came back from baby's hometown today

honestly, i am happy to be with him.

day by day, love you more than i can say

although sometimes i really feel like giving up to escape the problems

but i am still choosing to stay, for fight, to make it better

just sometimes i wish to be concern more by you

i do love you, like you love me.

thanks for the moments, i know you are working hard to be my better man

i knew and i really saw your efforts

i am not taking for granted

am doing my best to be better to you

fighting for the better future.

i've got no point by posting this

just to release my feeling

i don't know why, having the very strong feeling

i always wonder how much do i love this guy

and now, i got it

more than i thought

this is love.

*ily,eshh.

09.04.13

每天的每天 人们都为了实践自己的梦想而奋斗努力着

有目标的人生 向往梦想的未来前进

而对于一个 没有目标 或是 有目标而不能实践的人

又是什么样的心情存在着?

我常常在抱怨 为什么没有人能理解我

甚至跟自己最亲近的那个

到头来 原来也是和别人一样

用一样的眼光看待自己

是难受 是委屈 

那又能怎么样?

也只能听着别人说的不是 静静地受了下来

妈咪说

我从来不受约束 因为我只忠于自己

这样的行为 我被批判为刁蛮任性

在我自己看来 我只是在做最真实的自己

我从来就不爱和现实做朋友

当钱的奴隶 我是真的很鄙视

这样的我 又被批判为天真幼稚

其实我也只是有自己的想法

不想因为钱 去改变任何的东西

反倒 不富裕的生活 其实才是最纯朴快乐

倒是有一样 是真的准没错

我没有承受压力的身心

是因为我觉得 我没必要去为无关要我的事 加重自己的担子

做好自己 简简单单 开开心心 不是很好?

人就一定要向现实低头? 

很抱歉

改变自己 我做不到.

1st of April.

Happy Monthsary Baby

*ily.

a bad day to me

i am sick

fever + food poison

went to see doctor

should be taking medicine and sleep right this moment

but insist of blogging

needs baby boy so badly

need a big and tightly hug

i wanted to feel warm and loved

i wanted to stick with him, so that i could be like a baby to sleep in his arms

but too bad that he is just not around with me

and i really feel like crying

just so bad

time for me to take my medicines and sleep

nights world

*godblessme.

still counting

day 3, that living without twitter

maybe day 1, that not for contacting

22.03.13

It's 1215 in the night

There are always a reason cause me not to fall asleep

I am tired, really tired

Brain tired of thinking

Body tired of waiting 

Heart tired of everything, in love

I do love my family very very much

And also my friends

I expected my another half to accept the way how i am

Including my family and friends

But not trying to change anything on it

Forcing me to do anything that i really dont want to

Like i always said, people are really selfish

Maybe i just need to find out a way to be selfish

For thinking myself more but not others

Live for 21years

But totally no one understand me

How sad is it

I guess i am really weird, different from others

Not acceptable. 

A broken heart, waiting to be fix. 

14.03.13

have a short post before i went sleep

day by day, you don't really realize how time flies

until you looking back for the time

trying to find out what you had did for yourself

i did do something meaningful for myself

spending my own money to buy everything i wants

not my parent, not the bf but myself

a little proud of myself :P

but should really stop spending

i guess i really spend too much on those branded

start saving, i wanted to go travel, alone or with the love one

alright

time to bed

nights world

*god blessing.

**The most important thing being in a relationship is being comfortable with your other half. Love the person who love you as you. Don't have to pretend, don't have to fake anything but you. Don't try to be someone else cuz you'll end up pretending forever and you'll be suffocating in that relationship. --- Jane Chuckei

J for Jayesslee.

i am deeply in love with this song

touch my heart

they are really really awesome

love to the max

i've downloaded all their songs on itunes

finally

now i am in love with my iphone

lol

i am waiting, waiting for them to come again

not to miss any of their concert

Jayesslee always the best:) 

*Loves. 

此时此刻

看了52分钟的[Life of Pi]

看不下去了

一直在抖

是真的好不容易遮遮掩掩的看了52分钟

我还高估自己的接受能力

如果你懂我

对 我从来就不看这类电影

只是高评价的赞赏

还真的引起了我的注意

心情还没平复

但是52分钟

我只看得到

“弱肉强食”

这就是现实的世界

即贴切又真实

电影就先告一段落了

恶心的感觉 还是快散去好

要不然 我晚上准备睡不着

不适合 = 勉强幸福?

勉强幸福 = 没幸福?

其实 读懂我 真的 那么难?

07.03.13

guess that it's really time to have a body check

these days always feel like vomit after eating

i wondering what happened to my little stomach

big like a ball

indigestion:(

and the weather lately is really really like shit

what's wrong with the weather

so damn hot

everyday sweating like shit

so people drink more and more water

don't get sick

be a healthy baby:)

shall go and take a cold shower

i am dying in the room

even with the aircon -.-'

to all my readers

take good care of yourself

*loves.

05.03.13

alright, i know i am so cacat recently

since not sleeping very well in everyday

i don't know why always waking up at 3 or 4 and 6 or 7 in the morning

killed me

the super big eyes bag :(

i know i am super fat now

just can't stop eating

too lazy to do exercise 

that's why so FAT

sighh

should be more hardworking

by action, not the mouth

laziest girl -.-'

nothing more changing in the life

argument still the more

pressure still the many

always still the tired

and this is my life

accept  it

drama time

bye people

see you soon

:) 

the last?

i guess, there are really all my problems

shouldn't be in the relationship

no one will treasure 

am i not good enough?

why friends are always always more important than me?

am just such like a fool for sacrificed so much

at the end just hurting myself like shit

tears has become my best friend after go through of all the worst

but the pain, the hurt doesn't make me stronger

i am still believing in Love

but not using the word 'trusting' anymore

there are always still a 'lie'

anyway, i would be fine

everything would be fine very soon

i trust in God

*Loves.

21.02.13

it's been a very very long time

i am finally back to the place

miss the food so much 

still the yummy

these days always get not enough sleep

awaking without soul

so dead

getting so tired with the life

argue argue and argue

i really wonder why so hard to be together?

seriously need an answer

i am sincerely hoping that everything would be fine

Dear God

shall stop all the tests

i am really not that tough

time to sleep

song of the day

good night world

中学生谈恋爱

很贴切 很真实

这就是 中学生的恋爱

19.02.13

Do you, treasure me? 

love me from the bottom of heart?

always think of me, to be most important person in life?

and not letting me go easily? 

i hope you do while i am really doing

17.02.13

staying home for the whole day

drama is always my best friend

accompany me all the free time

everyone is happy celebrating out there

but then i am alone home to watch my drama, to online, to blog

got abit tired

but still not willing to sleep

just because i know, i will be waking up in the mid of night

always insomnia and get not enough sleep while worry about that

maybe, i was just too nervous, too negative, too worry?

over thinking always kills myself

i am not willing to say goodbye to the cny

i want the long long holidays to rest

got the time to do the things i likes

spend the time to communication with the people around

thing i most wanted to do is, 

to prove someone that, i am good enough to be love

it's worth for loving

treasure me and not letting me go easily

i always miss the old memories

*so kind, so lovely.

it's been a long time

sometimes when you've got the mood to blog

but just don't know what to blog about

blog about valentine's day?

i had the bad valentine's day ever in this year

and i swear that would be the last bad valentine's day

no more bad day in the romance dates

i want everything to be sweet in everyday

*hopefully, work it out

about cny?

same as usual, nothing much more special

so far, almost ending for the cny

time to back to reality

got back to the boring life

how i wish i could just staying home and to do nothing in everyday

*just a dream

alright

thing i should do is to be positive all the time

no more negative thinking

trust myself, trust in love, trust in life

be a happy girl

*cheers

happy 2013 people

all the best in life

*loves

**Promise me you'll never forget all times we spent together and promise me no one will take my place in your heart.**

真的都没差

*爱你 没差那一点时差

*爱你 不怕那一点时差

30.01.13

the ending of january 

how fast is the time passing

and i'm running out of time to preparing everything new for my cny

how bad is it

not cutting and dying my hair yet

not buying enough new clothes yet

so far only my room had done with cleaning

i wish i still got the enough time to done with the rest of things

new year, must start with everything new

this is my principle.

i am good with the life now

always trying very hard to communications with the people

although sometimes really bring me down

but this is the lessons of life

we should always learn from it

nothing is impossible, never give up too easier

cheers.

lastly, wish everyone to have a great days great year

all the best in your life

always to be happy

*Loves.

there are always a chance, a hope, a miracle waiting to be happen.

16.01.13 A Happy Lovely Day :)

HappyMeal always brought me Happy

yeah, as you know, i am always like a kid

this is how simple i always wanted to be

#livelikeakid

bought BabyJay's New Album

support the baby always not about the price

it's all full of love with action

#loveforever

the very cute song that i am crazy in love with

listening to the song just making me so happy

good song make good day ; good day make good mood

thank God for the lovely day

♥

13.01.13

rainy sunday

wondering why am i waking up so early today

maybe, hungry?

i guess so...

but still not eating while i am awake

it's still early for the time to eat

and i just got the good news 5 minutes ago

FINALLY THE HOUSE WATER IS BACK

Thank God, Finally. 

hope that won't just for the minutes now

the life without water supply is really really worst

so guess that it will be a great sunday to me

at least i am having the super good mood now

have a great day people

God Bless You and Me

:) 

first post of 2013

should be posting something new and happy

but the mood i am in, was totally not

a brand new year, too bad that i am not having the brand new life

still exactly the same

when can i have the positive thinking and the simple normal life?

why everything came to me must be this bad?

stressful life that i am having, is what killed me now

you're the one who effected my life so deeply

and i really feel like running

not the kind of shit that i can bear with

forgive my weakness

i am really doing my very best to be perfect

i do wanna hold it, but seem so far and hard

God, tell me what to do to stop the tearful life

tell me, how should i face it without giving up?

i am really, really tired.

bless me