不变的 爱

依然 仍然 是我最爱的男人

永远不会改变 那一个位置

#jay #the #best #of #the #best

很常的有时候

我常常在给很多的幻想和假设

好比说, 

如果有一天他发现了这里...

如果我们不是这样开始...

如果的如果, 没有方程式的解答

还是很惯例惯常的

很多的思绪总爱忽然间袭击我

还是改变不了的情绪化

还是爱把情绪写在脸上

还是一样的难搞

还是像个小孩一样

很爱闹变扭 很爱依赖

或许我也从来没真的想过想要改变这样的自己

开心就笑, 难过就哭

这样不是很好吗?

上帝把一个比我更难搞的人送到我身边来

很明显并没有对症下药

却也开始改变了我原有的生活

免不了吵吵闹闹的日子

虽然常常在抱怨

虽然不常被体谅

虽然偶尔会厌倦

但并没有想要放弃的感觉

爱了?

或许吧

我总觉得 可以很幸福

会有这么一天, 你会发现 你不懂的 那个我

晚安

习惯就好?

世界每一天都在变

人也在不知不觉中 稍稍地 转变中

是我想太多了?

还是我真的变得不再重要了?

现在的你

以前的你

才没多久, 以前就派得上用场了

不应该奢望太多

毕竟我也是这样出现

重复发生, 也只能如此

对你来说

我也只会是曾经路过的 陌生人

如果只是 梦一场

三点钟

第一次, 这是第一次我从睡梦中惊醒过来

是因为 潜意识告诉我 你真的要走了

睡不回去

是因为真的开始收不到你的消息了

我能做什么 你才真的意识到 你真的重要

而不是你随口说出那几言几语

即使是那伤人的话

对我, 真的公平?

为什么就不能争气一点?

忍一忍不就没事?

明明说好就这样

偏偏就爱在冷静后作祟

缭乱我的思绪

讨厌这样的自己 但又能这么样?

冲口而出的话 就像泼出去的水

覆水难收

后悔?

不, 只是可惜

又再次验证了

人, 是真的自私

没有人会真心替你着想

或许说你忘了要常常关心我

你没有错

只是大家爱的方式很不一样

但那并不代表我不爱你 你不喜欢我

人没有十全十美 不是吗?

信任, 还是信任问题

都让我累着了

或许又在于说

我不值得被珍惜

累了 泪了

just a very short post before i went sleep

so far my day was not bad as i expected

still the lovely sunday

thank god that not messing up my day

looking forward for the coming tuesday with my girls

finally got to meet up

and my babesteph was finally home

miss her crazy

alright

time to sleep

nights pretty world

#imy

Bad Sunday?

don't ask me why am i getting so mad early in the morning

i've really no idea

waking up with a super bad mood

how am i gonna to have a great sunday since the starting had turned bad?

always get affected

*hateit

随手拿得起 顺手丢得下

这, 叫 "爱" 吗?

是我高估自己对你的感觉

还是你低估了我真的爱你的可能?

是我看起来真的强朗

还是你高估了我面对逆境的能力?

还是, 我真的太天真的以为 自己可以有那么一点儿影响力

去改变这样的你

我一直相信 “爱” 可以改变一个人

只是上帝还没让成功验证在我身上

时间, 还是时间问题

这样的你 真的让我累了

19.11.12

am facing the laptop more than 3 hours

but still no idea what to blog

just too tired to think

forgive my laziness

Do you really believe it?

我选择在属于自己的地方

利用自己的权利

去说自己想说的话

如果你认为在面子书公开谈说别人的私事

加把贱嘴自以为是的出头

滥有一股很深的兄弟情

对不起 你就是最大的那个笑话

小丑上台讲笑话

就是这么一回事

不要一副楚楚可怜真的被抛弃的死人样

爱她?

你拿什么证明?

不要废话一堆

你的爱 两个字 “肤浅”

不要让我看不起你

身为男生 对 说的很对 是应该很有风度

但是不好意思 试问你们有吗?

你们现在的行为 只是在贬低自己的人格

不要觉得那很高尚

只是无知

男主角

请你停止所有的假装

不要再一副很受伤滥高尚假潇洒虚深情的模样

也送你两个字 “恶心”

亏你们还独中毕业

很庆幸我们不毕业于同一所学校

水准底就是水准底

根本 没得比

最后

再来搞她

再出言侮辱

事情不会就这么算
自己看着办.

Bad Monday.

12/11/12

super bad day

i dropped my phone into water

yeah, my phone is saying goodbye to me

someone please save it back

and bring it back to me

i do love my BB so muchh

:(

i was thinking

maybe this is the plan of God

telling me that i should let go of something

then i will gain something better

am just thinking over much

just an accident

no others meaning

anyway

i will be fine

and my phone as well

i believe it tough like me

so people, don't line or whatsapp or talkbox me

please just sms or directly call me

i will be back to the smart world very soon

#godblessme

猜不透的人· 看不透的心

听着那首你爱的歌曲

我知道这一刻的我 是想你的

只是我想知道的是

在你听的同时,

想起的又会是谁?

原来我 那么害怕 失去你

谢谢你

在我难过 在我失落 在我最无助的时候

不管何时何地何处

在我需要的时候

有个她 总无时无刻出现在我身边

原来看着她幸福

我会那么开心安定

好喇

我承认我偶尔真的很羡慕她

就像你说

总有一天 会有个爱我也值得我爱的人出现

只是这一刻

我真的很想跟你说 我很爱很爱你

BFF ♥

如果你也爱我

"对生活厌倦了吗？

疯狂的爱吧，如果有世界末日的可能，

不要制造遗憾，制造仅有的回忆，这是唯一能做的。" ——BabeSteph

感觉越是确定

心就越不安定

我怎么了?

曾经那股潇洒那股冲劲 都到哪里去了?

随时间的磨练 渐渐离我而去?

大概也是了吧

人长越大 越是孤僻 越是迷茫

或许曾经的经历 或多或少也会改变一个人

还是一样

口不对心 还是我一路来的作风

当你奢望别人能了解你那瞬间的失落

自己说出口又有什么意义?

我是奇怪

是因为还没有人 能真正了解我

我爱你, 是真的.

老朋友又来探访

此时此刻 有种很想哭的冲动

每天的每天 都在下雨

人的心情 自然随之而变

我在想

上帝 大概也和我一样

撑得累了吧?

累了 也 泪了

我到底应该怎么做 怎么办?

前路茫茫

我该往哪个方向 继续前进?

爱我 可以不要再让我受伤吗?

12点以后的现在

是11月2号

那一篇诉说着我内心的心声

我看了 鼻头也就酸了

只是还没来得及让眼泪掉下

我知道我不能 也不该

"对于你的懒散和不正经，我从唠叨慢慢的习惯了你的习惯。老套的说一句，我们不再只是情人，也是亲人。" ---BabeSteph

没什么 只是那老朋友又来拜访了

晚安

我让自己冒了一个险

想说就放手一搏 赌了这一把

也只是我高估自己的能耐和能力可以改变你

才真的发现

我真的 开始累了

你那所谓的理所当然

就一句，

你真的 有为我想过吗?

好喇

其实我做好心理准备一定会哭

只是不是那么失控 ==

说好看，倒是还好

可能现实生活发生过那样的情节

就会深深地触动你的心

新欢 旧爱

你开始会有一点想法不断在你脑海里打转

什么应该做?

快乐的时候就要放声大笑

难过的时候再抱头痛哭

[幸福，需要冒险]

22-10-2012

a very bad day to me

It's all about Trust.

how would you feel when you know the one you love doesn't trust you?

worst feeling ever

when i was trying my very best to make up for everything

when i thought i'm strong enough to hold it and bearing with 

i seriously don't know your words could cause me this bad and down

tears dropping without reason?

no, there are really a reason for my tears

i should really face the reality

i shouldn't expect that you knowing me well 

or you could read my minds

then i wouldn't feels so hurt when i realize the truths

but at least i know

no matter what i did or do, i can't changes anything

i would never gain back your trust and the confidence on me

isn't? 

what else i can still fight for? for me, for you, for us...

the more i hate

the more i escape

the more i forced myself not to think

the more i miss

being suffer and torturing by all this shit

Love the moments when you're calling me Baby

looking at me, hugging me sleep

although not always

but i do appreciate all the time when i am with you, really

♥

can i really rely on you?

*over-thinking ruins you. ruins the situation, twists things around, makes you worry and just makes everything much worse than it actually is.

am i thinking too much?

or we really getting far from each other?

we should go back to the beginning

#cute #happy #sweet #lovely

shouldn't ask for too much

at least you're still here

although everything not true enough

#octoberwish:iwishyoucouldbemine.

一天可以有无限大的变化

更不要说那漫长的一个星期

似乎又平静了下来

有缘无份?

连你也认同

或许 那是真的吧

就让这样的平静一直延续

你很好 我很好

那就不要再去破坏了

至少现在的我 面对现实了

原来这个世界 真的 没有值得相信的人

不要再假惺惺跟我很要好

少恶心了

离我远远去

谢谢

朋友, 什么是朋友?

真的是互相利用?

欺骗不带来伤害, 就代表没错?

这样找借口掩饰合理化自己的行为

有比较清高吗?

不要告诉我

你不懂什么叫做背叛 

欺骗隐瞒就是一种伤害

你明明很清楚那种感受

你的心虚 出卖你自己

为什么我从来不爱交朋友?

有人的地方就会有是非

我也情愿一个人

至少远离烦恼

朋友不需要多

真心的 几个就够了

朋友满天下又如何?

真心的 又有几个? 你又有否珍惜?

可惜? 狠心? 现实?

总比虚伪 戴面具做人好

我说了, 我人很有要求 也很现实

我选朋友交

不要给我一副 滥随和 装清纯 扮清高的样子

那是我最讨厌的!

the day you make me smile

#imissthetimewheniamwithyou

was like a dream, seem so near yet so far

you are now walked out of my life

moving on, not longer needs me

why am i still stopping here to wait for the miracle?

I'm holding on to something that used to be there hoping it will come back, but knowing it won't

something, somewhere, somehow went totally wrong

*memories never die.

* I'm drenched in your love, I'm no longer able to hold it back.

一个人的晚餐

没什么大不了

一个人 独自驾了3个小时的路程

从东到西

从南到北

默默地 又回到家里来

失控的一天

我想我可能只是太累

承受够了

很想发泄

很想依靠

对不起

*我信异想才有日会天开

一个人 独自坐在Starbucks的角落

听着那首唱着自己心情歌曲

我知道

总有一天我需要习惯这样一个人的生活

只是不晓得为什么

心 淌着血

那股泪的思绪 又再围绕在我身边

所以我决定出来

是明智的选择

至少我不会再让眼泪战胜我的软弱

一个人 并没什么大不了

我还是可以 过得 好好地

*我就是剩這麼一點點倔 稱得上 我的優點

狂欢以后

你不会知道 这一刻的我

是多么的想你

你就这样消失在我的世界里

不留一点痕迹

我只能一直往记忆找寻你曾经留下的足迹

对不起

我低估了自己能离开你的能力

我没有后悔

只是 不适应

没有我 我知道你会过得很好

不知不觉 原来伤害你这么多

如果爱我 答应我 过得更好

谢谢你 这么宠爱我

那份爱 那份感觉

会一直 在我心里

属于我们的 一直 不会变

***

*原来我这麽怕安静 是怕再也听不到你

越想面对 越想逃避

越是不想 越是想念

那句 ‘我已经走了’

深深地印在我的脑海里

一直, 一直挥散不去

我需要勇气

走出没有你的世界

我需要勇气

放下放弃所有的一切

我需要勇气

告诉自己 不爱了

*最后只剩下星空 像不变回忆 陪着我

从你口中说出那一句 

'我已经走了'

我知道

再也没有必要再停留了

可笑的是

我竟然以为你能读懂我的心

当你看到这里的时候

请你记得

我们已经没有共同的目标 一致的脚步

把你 把我 留在属于我们存在的世纪

这个世纪, 不再是我想的 那个未来了

也已经没有联络的必要

走了, 就请你不要再回头

谢谢你 爱过

*你存在 我深深的脑海里

听你听过的歌

哼你唱过的歌

才发现

原来

这么想念.

原来你留给我的

那么那么多

*這是你留給我不具名的悲傷.

最美電影 不必有 最好的結局

最美愛情 只需要 永恆的曾經

这样的我们 或许才是最好的

我相信

...

不懂的 却也爱上了

其实很多话想说

千言万语 却不懂得用什么方式把它们带出

所以选择沉默

所以选择放弃

所以选择放下

所以选择抛开

所以选择忘记

有钱跟帅 如何选?

被问就问得多

但原来真的发生的时候

你根本连选都不想选

两个都要?

不, 我只想要那个对我好, 疼我爱我的人

我知道自己很幸福

有一个像爹地那样爱我的男生

这是我从来没有预想过的画面

一个在戏里才会出现的情景

剧本才会有的故事

上帝无时无刻都在给我考验

我走的每一步 决定走的每一步

后悔? 是不能, 走错了我也不能后悔

他说得对

其实我早已有了选择

我只是害怕

在未来 后悔今天下的这个决定

上帝, 我该怎么办?

想起我们 眼泪不自觉地掉落

其实我想说, 

谢谢你 这么爱我

但是

...

... ...
只是

... ... ...

someday, somewhere, somehow

there would still a You

in the future

*God Bless.

i'm sorry, for what i have did

Letting go because I have to, not because I want to.

forgive me

*loves

less than 2 hours

gonna says goodbye to June

welcoming for July?

no, i will be sad on 1st of July i think

don't come and ask me why

i won't be telling anyone

secret of myself

i'm sorry

so far everything goes smoothly

just getting not enough time for sleep

although tired, but still worth and happy

so not complaining about anything

Sometimes the things we can't change end up changing us

July, be good to me

*Loves.

almost end of the month

should be happy

July always my *love month

yes, my birthday is coming soon

but i don't really want to celebrate it

cos i know there won't be any surprise for me

better don't expect any of things

good for me

i don't wanna make myself fall

i'm sorry that i'm still not having the happy mood to blog

the life now is really tired, over tired for me

Baby still the same

i've got no energy to argue with him anymore

yeah, maybe the peoples are right 

i should agree with them

and accept the fact that i can never changes

irly.

finally, i got the time to online with my laptop

to check my mails and blogging also

just so free tonight and i got the mood

am having a very good mood recently

although not always meeting my baby

but at least we are trying not to quarrel

this is what good for us

saturday

JAYESSLEE

so looking forward for it

must be an awesome night

alright

i actually quite lazy to blog now

mood suddenly gone

lol

stay turn for my next post

will be sharing more about everything in my life

don't miss it

lastly, a song for my readers

this is my favorite love song

enjoy it

当爱开始变质的时候

互相留给彼此的

也只有难受

你要我留下 除了不断地忽略以外

你还为了什么而奋斗努力?

拜托你 告诉我

不要再去奢望我了解你

我一点都不

不要没有解释的行动

我不明白那是什么回事

我喜欢的那个你

到底 去了哪里?

这一首歌是为了提醒我自己

要做一个Better Me

我一直以为 我以为的以为

原来都只是一堆无谓的以为

金钱不是用来衡量也不是用来弥补或补偿

看着你崩溃的那一刻

我知道唯一能让你好过的

就只有 圆了你的要求

这一句对不起 我知道是于事无补

还是必须对你说上一句

对不起, 很 对不起

谢谢你 这么爱我

妈

对不起

又让妳看到这么狼狈的我

谢谢妳静静地坐在床头陪着我

看着我抱头大哭 安慰我安抚我

替我扫背哄我睡觉

抱歉我不能告诉妳发生什么事

我有必要为自己负责

而不是每次往妳逃

谢谢妳 心疼我的心疼

看来我还真的很有潜质参加饥饿三十

如果有排名

我也一定会在三甲里

Dear God, thanks for giving me a He

He was the best thing ever happen in my life

*withmuchlove

*ily

sorry for not blogging yesterday

i've got no time for it

too tired and busy of outing :P

had a awesome night with my love

he is really cute *just sometimes

most of the time, he is just so Evil

naughty like a kid

2 more weeks for my Jayesslee's concert

guess what? i count downing everyday

so looking forward for the concert

and can't wait for another awesome day with baby

almost 1am

dad and mom keep nagging on me, asking me to sleep

they do the same thing everyday

open my door, remind me of the time, i shall go to bed right the moment

i always get abit mad when they start nagging on me

they always thought their daughter still in kindergarten

speechless.

mom, dad, i'm 20 this year

are you guys sure still have to treat me like a kid?

i'll sleep when i feel tired

why so bother about it? -.-'

how good if there are another daughter in the family

so that they don't only focus on me

sighh

shut down the laptop, switch of the light

is time for me to sleep

monday blue? everyday blue

nights world

it's Friday

but i'm not going anywhere

just stay home for resting

#enjoy.

i've got nothing to post today

am just so lazy to think

forgive me plss

wanna go and bed now

see you guys tomorrow kay?

have a nice day people

nights sweet world

*imybaby

meeting once a week

should be a happy day

but always end like the babydonald

always turned bad at the end
i wondering why always ended like this?
maybe, is me getting too tired, easy to get angry

i always emo when i was tired

and out of patience, get angry

this is me, and always be

i was like doing the things what a bf should be doing

sometimes i envy and jealous about others
why her bf can be so good to her?
i wondering why the things not happens on me?
so so many question marks, annoyed me

yeah, i know my bf being best too
although i always blaming and complaining
but deep inside my heart, i know he still care about me
but just caring less

this is love

when you thought to give up

there are always something that hold you back

i should be saying sorry

sorry that getting angry on you

i was just too tired

*but as i said, this is your fault, you didn't care about my feelings when you make decision.

Baby, i wanted to be the 1st in your list, not the last

things you do, think of me, and counts me along
not lefting me alone

alright

vent enough
still thanks for today Baby
you make my day again
happy, sweet, warm
*ily

bed time

nights world
have a blessing day

♥

been a week, am just so lazy to blog

tiredness, felt sleepy all the time

exhausted 

i feel like ending this month asap

restless

i wanna stay home for sleeping 1 month long

and to do nothing just to rest

or maybe i should just find a guy to get married be a housewife

forget about money, study, etc problems

just staying home, enjoy life

yeah, i was dreaming

unrealistic -.-'

alright

just a short post here

time to sleep

baby waiting me in dream

i shall go and meet him now

nights sweet world

can't believe that i spend almost rm600 in 2 hours

this is what called Shopaholic

lol

shop with a happy mood

bought the things i love

excited of spending money

heart not bleeding but regretting

i should buy the other shirts together also

sighh, sad

let's see what i bought today

first, this is not the thing i planned to buy today

i planned to buy a Nike running shoes

unfortunately my shoes spoiled in the half way when i walking to the restaurant going to dinner

i was like Oh My Fuxk Shit, how come so bad luck today? :(

luckily there are a Bata shop opposite the restaurant

so mom brought me there to buy a new shoes

then i just chose the sport shoes, so that don't have to buy another one more

mom chosen the shoes for me, i thought she supposed to pay for me

but she don't want :'(

she wants me to pay myself since she know there are some money inside my wallet

this is my mom, evil

bad mama

this is my purpose of going out today

i don't want to make another regret of missing any concerts again

i know the show certainly worth for the price

so yeah, i'm looking forward for the day with the Love

most love

i love the cortoon

cute and cool *so likeeeee

this is the smallest size but still like abit big to me

although that, i still bought it home

since i really really like it

regretted of not buying the batman home

sighhh, was like... so not comfortable inside my heart

baby don't worry

this is all worth for the prices

i'm happy doing it for you and also myself

what you have to do is just stay loving me

alright, time to sleep

nights pretty world

sweet dream and sleep tight

2 hours sleep is definitely not enough for me

body not working, i feel like dying

so dead

i miss him, very very much

how good if he is here to hugs me

giving me his power, then i may not being so dead now

i feel like sleeping

but still waiting for his call

listen some songs, prepare my sleeping mood while waiting for calls

then straight away to sleep after the phone

not wasting the time only for waiting

1st of June

although he is not here with me

except tiredness

so far everything is okay today

good starting for the month, shall be a good month

Dear June, be good to me kay?

love you much

alright

bye people

see you guys tomorrow

have a nice sleep

*loves